by Eric Freeze
Gamma Ray Exposure
Actual Result: Headache, shortness of breath, stiffness in joints, liver damage, loose stool, impotence.
Comic Book Result: increased size and strength, greenish hue to skin
Cosmic Ray Bombardment
Actual Result: Headache, nausea, seborrheic dermatitis, severe skin irritability and occasional lesions, melanoma, poor circulation, overbite, impotence, testicular fusion, sterility.
Comic Book Result: invisibility, rock-like skin, stretchy torso, combustibility.
Radioactive Insect Bite
Actual Result: swelling, pus discharge, incontinence, forgetfulness, shriveling of and/or potential loss of penis (males); Lyme disease
Comic Book Result: increased strength and agility, thematically-relevant powers, depending on type of insect
Robotic Arm Mishap (Laboratory-Related)
Actual Result: dandruff, sleep apnea, paranoia, some blood in stool, resentment, vaginal dryness (women)
Comic Book Result: robotic arms fused to body, megalomania, madness
Toxic Waste Spill (On Child)
Actual Result: itching, marked drowsiness, impotence (may not notice effects until puberty is reached)
Comic Book Result: Blindness, super hearing and balance, increased aptitude in legal profession
Botched Experiment in Creating a Super Soldier (Laboratory-Related)
Actual Result: bedwetting, brittle fingernails, scaling in ears, vertigo, constipation
Comic Book Result: super strength, blurring of moral boundaries, temper outbursts, meandering ambition, cackle
Botched Experiment in Regeneration of Limbs Through Reptile-Based Serum (Laboratory-Related)
Actual Result: eczema, diarrhea, depression, feelings of loneliness
Comic Book Result: transformation into reptile, favorable disposition toward evil