A quorum of the Barrelhouse gang is in Chicago for the AWP Conference. After 1 day, we have made a whopping $57!!! Which puts us behind pace to match last years’ grand total of $231. (NOTE: Expenses were about 2,000 last year, and that’s not counting beer…)

Today we were up on time despite suffering from varying degrees of hangover. Our location is right up against the curtain, so we can hang our sign up and be visible from afar. The Wheel of Literary Awesomeness nee Destiny has been in full effect, with #7 “Awkward Small Talk” the most often landed upon. However, we are also giving out Valentines with personal notes to our AWP brethren and sisteren. Valentines highlights include:

“Let’s sit in the back of a literary panel and fondle each other”
“I love you so much I want to cut you into little pieces and serve you in a stew with fava beans and a nice chianti”
“I want to love you secularly”
“I want to f you in the a”

Just kidding about the last one…

Buddies of Barrelhouse stopped by, including New South founder Jamie Iredell, whose chapbook is out and about and sleeping with other chapbooks; Barrelhouse poets laureates and Debutantes of Destruction Jill Alexander Essbaum and Jessica Piazza sashayed by and made innuendo blush; Blake Butler, also with like 8 books coming out or something, stopped by and demonstrated his ability to fart on command.

Barrelhouse is intent on developing a rivalry with One Story, and they aren’t helping things by allegedly showing up in a limo, wearing pink jerseys, and projecting unreadable stuff on the ceiling. All because they didn’t invite us to play air hockey 2 years ago. I mean, we called them out in our Barrelhouse power ballad, what more can we do?

Tonight is the Travelodge Party, Round 2 with Smartish Pace. Hopefully balconies will only be accessible through windows, like last time.