The problem with reggae is that people who like reggae are assholes. Not Jamaicans — they’re fine, as far as I can tell. But if you’ve ever attended an American college or university, you know the kind of white American dude I’m referring to, the one who’s always telling you to “take it slow” and calling everyone “brah” and trying to play “No Woman, No Cry” on the acoustic guitar. Man, I hate those fuckers.

So I don’t listen to much reggae. But then last week I was checking in on this music site, When You Awake, which is pretty great — they tend to favor a very particular “California country” sound, and the whole enterprise has this late-70s urban cowboy vibe (I know that doesn’t sound particularly awesome, but it is, in a weird way). They periodically post mixtapes, and this one was just too odd not to download. Which is how I found this:

“Sweet Caroline,” covered by Hubert Lee

Which reminded me of this:

“Country Roads,” covered by Toots and the Maytals

Which then got me thinking more generally about reggae, and how maybe I actually do like it. I mean, it’s not reggae’s fault that a lot of douchey people listen to it. I don’t think reggae has actively courted an audience of douchebags in the way, say, Nickelback has, or Insane Clown Posse, or Dave Matthews. Reggae is innocent! It’s just that in the last several years, reggae’s mantle has been picked up by all the wrong people. It’s time we take that shit back, right?

Back in the late 70s and early 80s, reggae got appropriated by white people to make ska music, which I actually like okay. I mean, The Specials were cool, and Madness was pretty dope. But then somewhere along the line it all went horribly awry. Sublime. No Doubt. Jack Motherfucking Johnson. Where did we go wrong, white people?

Let’s take a moment to ponder our various sins while we listen to some more Toots and the Maytals. Repent!

“54-46 Was My Number,” Toots and the Maytals